Practical Thoughts For a Young Homemaker: Decorating and Beauty
Dear New Matron,
While this is the last letter in this series (I think) there is a whole world of helpful articles on this blog and helpful women in our FB group and GroupMe Chat. I highly recommend you plug into this knitting circle to learn and stay motivated. Not everything will speak to the direction you’re going in life. We span a range of lifestyles from urbanites to homesteaders, but we are all interested in the work of homemaking and the domestic arts. Plug in.
Decorating is one of the things many of us look forward to the most when setting up our new home. I know I did. There is a thrill to creating the look and feel of your own little space.
Side Note: I know I’m speaking in broad generalities. Some of you simply do not care about decorating. If this is true for you, pair up with someone who does and let them help you. Beauty is important for the human soul.
First things first, let me assure you that decorating isn’t a waste of your time. It is an important part of your work in the home as the homemaker. Now, before you have kids is an important time to create your nest. How you decorate will directly impact your attitude, your husband’s sense of calm and welcome, and your future children. God doesn’t consider beauty a waste and neither should we. Our attitudes often have to be adjusted by an act of will, but we should get help when and where we can. Beauty, like a hot cup of tea, is one of those attitude-assistants. Many women find vast wells of motivation in beauty. It can drive us to learn new skills, be creative and frugal, save our pennies, and clean. Don’t miss out on this huge blessing you can employ in your home for your people.
Now some advice, in no particular order:
Aesthetics: It’s popular right now to claim your aesthetics, to find your label. Cottagecore, grannycore, goblincore, whimsigoth, farmhouse, rustic French country, and more. In a way, this can be helpful. Finding a look or a style can provide boundaries, goals, and unity. They keep your home from turning into a mad-hatter of a mess. I’ve used them for many years to train my eye and help keep me from buying all the things. I can acknowledge something's beauty without having to have it because I know it’s not going to blend. Just be careful because you can lean so hard into an aesthetic that your home will start to look like a showroom floor display instead of a place where real people live. If you don’t have a clue what your aesthetic is, don’t worry about it.
Color Palettes: Another helpful boundary is to choose a color palette. Pick a handful of neutrals, add some contrasting pops of color, and stick with it. This can give you cohesion and help select paints and fabrics. If you’re not sure about this, get on Pinterest or something of the like and search for color palettes. You will get an image of neutrals paired with pops of color. Pick one you like and start playing. Make sure you pay attention to the lighting in your home. If you have a lot of natural light you can play with much darker color schemes. If you don’t, you want to be prudent with those moody tones or you will make a cave instead of a nest.
Decorating Books: Beg, borrow, and steal (especially from your sisters) decorating books, and feast on the pictures. Read them, yes. Some of my greatest tending inspirations have come from decorating books, but for sure look at the pictures. Notice what grabs you and what doesn’t but start by just filling every little corner of your mind with beauty. When you saturate yourself with beautiful images, you will start naturally tweaking things in your home in that direction. The more I look at Tasha Tudor-styled gardens, the more I’m figuring out how to create that look even in Texas heat. The more English Cottage images I take in, the more I develop that look and feel in my home.
Seasonal: Some of us are very seasonally driven. I find it highly helpful for my attitude if I acknowledge the seasons. It gives me a chance to refresh my home every quarter and keep my toes rooted in nature. This isn’t a total overhaul of my entire home, but a few decorative pillows and throws. It is also felt in changed bedding, changed meal planning, and foraging outside for things to bring in. Different seasons may get more acknowledgment (looking at you Autumn and Christmas) and others less (let’s not talk about summer), but seasonal decorating is fun and useful for keeping our homes from stagnating. It is also something you can layer on every year. Maybe this year all you can afford is one Christmas throw pillow. Add one more next year. Keep going. Learn to bring the outside in. This doesn’t have to be and shouldn’t be budget-busting. Also, think about storage. I love changing pillow covers because they store so easily, but I also have a throw problem, and they take up a little more space. Limited storage can be a blessing if you let it.
Changing Your Vibe: We women are often accused of changing our minds too easily, but this is an area where we can do that as long as we do it right. When I started homemaking, I was this strange mix of fairy tale, gothic, something Moroccan with a bit of Western. It was too much and crazy. It was unsettling to my husband and out of control. I had no clue what I was doing. I just did what I wanted. After struggling through a lot of woes, I moved into a Rustic Modern look. This helped me tone things down and bring some sort of cohesion. Health issues pushed me into a more Minimalist world. I’m so thankful I found Myquillyn Smith and her wonderful books Cozy Minimalist Home and Welcome Home. I learned so much from her, not just about decorating, but about creating a cozy environment in my home. Now, I’m full in on a Minimalist English Cottage look. I love the pattern mixing, the flowers, and the love of relaxed comfort. So, all that to say, you can change your mind when you are decorating, and you will, because you realize something isn’t serving your people anymore. That is a good thing.
The world of home decorating is massive. You can spend a lifetime in that space. It is valuable and good. I do think some words of caution are necessary. Many a woman has brought financial ruin to her home by making decorating the most important thing in her world. It is absolutely necessary to start small. Most new matrons aren’t marrying men with unlimited wealth. Most new matrons aren’t themselves independently wealthy. Start small. Dream without discontent. Use those dreams to drive you to frugal creativity. Thrift. Pick up things on the curb. Swap with people. Because of fast fashion availability from Target and influencers, we often get trapped in feeling our homes have to be perfect or we’re doing it wrong. Go get Perfect English Cottage by Ros Byam Shaw. Listen to her talk about rooms needing to be a bit rumpled and ugly to be comfortable and take a breath.
Decorating is an important part of this lifelong work, but it is not the only part of this lifelong work. Keep it where it needs to be on the priority list. Make wise choices. Don’t make a white room your goal if you want to have lots of kids. Don’t buy things no one can touch. Don’t put in flooring that isn’t good for animals if you want a zoo. You’re decorating for your life, your people, your loves, not mine and not someone else’s. This isn’t a competition to see who is the most immaculate and trendy. This is an area to practice prudence, temperance, justice, and courage. (Are you beginning to see that beauty isn’t shallow and self-focused?)
Decorating is such a wonder! Ponder on how delightful the customizable-ness of homemaking is! The diversity of tastes!
You are not wrong in your excitement to decorate your new home. Go for it, dear ladies! Set up that nest, cozy that space, and create beauty. This is who we are and what we do.
Love,
A Matron who is quickly becoming a Crone
Further Reading:
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Email us at hearthkeepers@hotmail.com with any questions or subjects you’d like us to discuss. For now, ladies, tend your people, Hang Tough, and keep your powder dry.
