Defining Our Terms
The heat and humidity lie over the land like a stifling blanket. We’re in it for the long haul, the long haul of summer. Some of us women are in our element when the days stretch on and the pools abundant. Children have wild hair and freckles, freckles, freckles. Others of us hunch our shoulders, stubbornly drink hot tea early in the morning, and dream of autumn and cooler days. All of us put our hands to the work of guarding and gardening our souls and our homes. It’s good work, be it oh so slow and oh so invisible, at times. It has its many, many rewards.
I thought it might be helpful for all of us, me included, to define our terms as I’ve come to understand them through this journey of studying the art and work of homemaking. These words do have some overlap, and other women might use them differently or with other nuances. Sounds like an opportunity for some great discussion so grab that coffee, pour that wine, and let’s talk.
Homemaking: Homemaking is the art, labor, and love a woman engages in for the sake of nurturing and tending her people by the means of temporary food, shelter, and clothing. This is the big picture. All that we do hangs under the overarching umbrella of homemaking. This is not marriage, not childrearing, not homeschooling. Homemaking is the place the Lord has planted us knowing we would excel here in unique and various ways.
Housekeeping: The day-in and day-out chores we use to take care of our families. Unfortunately, housekeeping rarely garners praise despite being a loyal handmaid. It’s easy for us to make housekeeping more important than our people. Working on the To Do list is easier than engaging souls. Housekeeping must be kept as our servant, not our master. We must both get the work done and not excessively worry about the work. We do this by remembering that the housekeeping is always there, always needing to be done, always repeated. This highlights its importance while also helping us keep it in the right place.
The great challenge with housekeeping is loving it. We should pour our love over it because it is such a good tool used to serve our families. Nothing warms a home faster than cooking, cleaning, and laundry done with love. Nothing. Housekeeping is the foundation of all our other labors, but she isn’t the queen. Don’t forget that we tend our people, not our chores. Chores are our method, not our motivation.
Tending: This is the TLC of homemaking. The unseen, yet so necessary, element of our work. Tending is why mom’s food tastes the best and our husbands come home from work. This is why this is the place we want to be. This is healing for our people. Like homemaking, it is an all-encompassing term for our work, but it shifts the focus more to the love aspect, the cozy, the warm, the welcoming. It is why, ladies, we have more fat on our bodies, generally, than our men. It is why we hug, why we sing, dance, mend, and grow. It is the very feminine ability to gently encourage our people. Tending is soil as well as the spice of our homemaking.
HearthKeeping: This is our group name. I chose it to give a sort of backbone, a strength, to the work we do, the tangible and intangible aspects. It blends both the chores and the love of our homes into one word. It recalls a central fire around which the work of the home, the safety, the calm, and the nourishment flows.
Light the Way Back Home: This phrase is a catch-all to say that the work we do, the way we do it, and the attitude we have towards it should make the world around us take notice. It should engage our daughters in their birthright and instruct our sons in what they’re looking for. It should shine out in a broken world like a candle in the dark and say, “Come home.” I don’t know if you know this or not, but our culture is starving for home and homemakers. You want to make a difference? Go home and tend your hearth! You want to be weird and rebellious? Go home and tend your hearth! You want to stand against the breakdown of physical and mental health? Go home and tend your hearth! You want to step back from the craziness of life and live more simply? Go home and tend your hearth! You want to engage in hospitality and invite people in? Go home and tend your hearth! All this and more can be found in our homes if we will but tend them.
Most of us are familiar with these definitions, but definitions can themselves be instructive and encouraging. They can help us see areas where our thinking is incorrect. Maybe you confuse homemaking and housekeeping. Maybe you forget the tending side and focus too much on the chores. Maybe you use housekeeping as a martyr’s cloak always complaining. Maybe you tend well but forget to teach your daughters about the work. Maybe you use homemaking and childrearing synonymously. Maybe you need the encouragement of lighting the way back home. Defining our terms shores us up, helps us guard against lies and garden truth.
