Education

As any homeschool mom or student knows, education happens long after the school books are closed. Reading is taught, but then we find good stories. Math is taught, but then we bake cakes, build shelves, make quilts. Biology in a book is one thing. Being out in nature as the seasons change, animals live and die, and gardens produce veggies and herbs is another. Formal education equips us to go learn, to educate ourselves, but all of life is educational.

There have been times in history when women stayed outside the tent and times in history when women were…slightly over protected. (Looking at you Dracula.) We don’t live in those times, but it is easy to be lazy about our minds. We’ve been given so much, so much information at our fingertips, so much information available it’s overwhelming. I think the plethora of education available has made us take it for granted. We tend to be lazy about our minds.

The Bible tells us and shows us that we women, by nature, tend to be more gullible. It hurts, I know. It’s hard to be told that we are more foolish and easily fooled than men. But that is what the Bible says. Remember the promises, remember fellow priests and heirs, remember God is good and does good, and humbly accept the sting. Now get to work.

Knowing we’re more gullible isn’t an excuse to just give up and go sit in a corner with our foolishness. It is time to acknowledge our weakness and educate ourselves.

Pretending we’re not naturally more gullible is as dangerous as pretending we’re not naturally weaker. We can get taken advantage of or even brutalized. If we accept that we are more gullible, we can defend ourselves.

Start by studying theology. Yes, start small, that’s fine. But we need to have a solid grasp on our theology and be able to discuss it and understand it. Men may be the visible bastions of the truth, but we are bastions too. The stud you can’t see in the wall is just as important as the visible wall itself. We raise men and we raise their wives. We create homes for men and support churches. We should have a firm grasp on theology. Everything in our lives springs from theology whether you understand it or not, and not understanding it leaves you ignorant, foolish, and just waiting to be tossed about and victimized. A good, solid understanding of theology is safe for you and your whole family. A solid theological foundation will protect you, your church, your marriage, your home, and your children more thoroughly than all the cooking, cleaning, clothing, and education you provide for yourself, your family, and your church. No amount of cooking, cleaning, clothing, and education will benefit those spheres if they’re not rooted in sound theology.

Don’t allow yourself to be mentally lazy. I get it. We’re all busy, busy, busy, but if we’re so busy we can’t study theology even for a few minutes, we might need to reassess our priorities. Your children need to see this in you. I remember getting up in the morning as a teen to get ready for work and always finding my Mom up before everyone else reading her Bible and memorizing Scripture. I remember her engaging with my Dad in family worship, in Saturday night theological reading, and lots of theological discussions. That is a legacy given to all five of us kids that can’t compare with any other earthly inheritance.

This self-education can come in many forms. Obviously, the first is just to be in church on Sunday, engaged and ready to participate in the means of grace. Be there for the preaching and for Sunday School. Sunday School is, in our church, largely a catechetical time, or a time focused on specific practical things. Be there for the training.

As you can, there is a whole world of books, audiobooks, and sermon audio to take advantage of. Re-listen to your pastor’s sermons and ask your pastors and older women for recommended reading. Build your discernment. It’s okay to read books you don’t agree with 100%, but don’t be so open minded your brain falls out. Know your theology!

After theology, work to educate yourself on many topics: economics, history, philosophy, and practical things like marriage, childrearing, home management, cooking, gardening, and a whole host of topics. Don’t forget good literature. Good literature takes all those topics and breathes life into them, allowing us to see them in action within human experience.

I know some of you are panicking: how can I do this! I don’t have this kind of time! Calm down and remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint. Remember phases of life. If you have littles and are homeschooling, you may read a book a year, but as your kids grow up, you may be able to set aside more dedicated time to read. Don’t neglect it! Develop self-education systems and goals. Know what you want to learn for the sake of your home and relationships.

For example, my husband loves philosophy, theology, and current events. I love modern military history, animals, and true crime. Once in a blue moon, our interests intersect. But I try to keep a working knowledge of theology, philosophy, and current events so I can have an intelligent conversation with him because I know it’s good for him, for us, and for my home. It’s been worth it to get over my natural disinterest in philosophy so that I can have a basic idea of what he’s talking about.

There are things inherent to your particular family culture that you should grow and develop. It’s good for us to challenge our minds and exercise our brains.

It also refreshes us. Things can quickly move from routine to rut. Familiar can become stagnant. Finding books, podcasts, YouTube videos, and such can help us refresh even on something as basic as doing laundry. Hobbies and crafts can develop us dimensionally. When we educate ourselves on things we love and are passionate about, it grows our love and appreciation for other things.

Life changes. Sometimes we’re challenged to add things to our roles that we’re not naturally comfortable with. Put on your big-girl pants and start educating yourself. This is anything from manuals to the ever-helpful older women.

We’re never beyond learning. We should rope our husbands and children into this. It makes for better date nights and shows our kids that learning is part of life.

Again, again, again, HearthKeeping is a life-long work, just like church membership and just like family. Don’t forsake current responsibilities and don’t take on unrealistic burdens. There have been times in my life where I was doing good to read at all. There have been times in my life I’ve devoured books. There have been times I’ve been able to really devote myself to education and times I haven’t. Not right now doesn’t mean never.

We can’t do it all. We’re not God.

What you want to do is develop and maintain a learning, educational mindset seeking to grow even if it is just a tiny bit. You will be a better wife and mother for it.

The rub is that this requires attention and self-discipline. This means seeing many forms of growth and education. Maybe you’re watching a TV Show and it sparks something and the next thing you know you’re knee deep in internet research. Maybe it’s a short blog you found on Pinterest, maybe it’s when you discover the life cycle of a firefly with your kids. Education, learning, and growing is all around us if we keep our eyes and ears open.

It also requires self-discipline. We will probably have to sacrifice some comfort to grow. A seed has to die to become a tree.

We might have to get up earlier, or use an alarm clock.

We might have to put down some easy books for something more challenging.

We might have to say no to things to make sure we’re able to attend Sunday School.

We might have to discipline our children to carve out some reading time. (Good for them and you.)

Life is a balance.

We are constantly examining all the ‘good’ things for what is best. This is probably the hardest part of being an adult, the sheer, overwhelming load of decision-making. It’s relatively easy when it’s a choice between good and evil. It is so much harder when it’s a choice between this good thing and that good thing. Our personal growth and education should be lumped in with the good and then balanced. It’s not all about us, but we can’t leave ‘us’ out of the picture. That doesn’t help anyone.

Maids: as has been said so many times, you are in a unique position to do this now. I know that you feel busy and possibly overwhelmed with life, but trust me, you will look back on this time and realize how much time you actually have. Make sure, when you are reading, watching TV, or doing other recreation, that you take time to exercise and grow your mind. Learn to engage in theological discussions. Start now reading about marriage, child raising, and home management. Get your Mom, if you still live at home, to let you manage the home for a week or two. Ask for reading lists. Don’t just enjoy fun fiction and easy weekend reads. Challenge yourself. Grow your mind. Be part of the conversations in associations and in your church family. And for all that is holy, learn to listen. You do not have it all figured out. You have no idea how little you actually know about life. Listen. Listening with humility is the first way to really learn.

Matrons: it is so very easy to get caught up in all that we need to get done: church, husbands, homes, and children. We go from early morning until late at night. We need to make sure we’re making time to grow our minds. This may require sacrificing some social things or it may require a more strict discipline of your children. Make a plan, make some goals, start small and grow. Don’t use it as an excuse to avoid work, and don’t make excuses to not educate yourself. Homeschool moms, try and incorporate this into your kids’ education when you can. Educating yourself is important, especially theological education. Just take it slow, don’t beat yourself up if you’re not reading 100 books a year. Just start with one.

Crones: have a plan as you age, to use your time more and more wisely, not more and more self-focused, not getting lazier. It’s easy to do this. You’re tired. You’ve been in the same fights for so long it’s hard to care anymore. We women face the temptation to give into fear, and this doesn’t stop as we age. I know several women who, after their husbands died, became liberals. They gave into fear, they believed everything the news and media told them, and they never questioned, got help, or countered what they read, heard, and imbibed with truth. Old age isn't the time to give up. It’s time to hold the line. Also, think about how you can serve young homemakers by reading books or other educational resources they don’t have time for and sharing with them. You can help them use their time more wisely by culling through books and keeping a list of only the best so that when they have a moment they know exactly what to reach for. This is a great service. Also, older women, encourage theological conversation. Make sure you help other women take their theology seriously.

We are living, breathing creatures with souls. We’re more than just the Help. We’re church members, wives, mothers. We’re the homemakers. We can’t just wing this. We may have a degree on the wall, or we may not, but education isn’t found only on a campus. Education is a part of life and we should all be working towards our doctorates in HearthKeeping. We have lots of work before us and we shouldn’t be afraid to educate ourselves in that work, from theology to childrearing, from marriage to laundry. We should listen, talk, explore lots of options, and embrace exercising our minds! This is our best defense against our natural gullibility. We start with theology (fearing the Lord), and move out from there so that we are growing in wisdom from maids, to matrons, to crones.