Take a Break

A quiet grayness rests over the morning. No one is really awake, the AC just cycled off. The sun is only thinking of rising. Just enough light fills the air to highlight the crepe myrtles' brilliantly pink blooms. Ahead lies a day of work, but just for a moment, instead of work, the hearthlight is ours to nestle in instead of tend.

Every human soul reaches a moment of needing refreshment. The work we engage in begins to chafe or dull or becomes like a piece of embroidery held so close to our noses we forget what we’re making. Everything becomes an unfocused mess because we’ve lost the why to our what and we’re now only living by sight.

We recognize this in our husbands and children and recommend they go for a walk, take a break, eat a snack, and change up their routines, but we often fail to see this breaking point in ourselves and take our advice.

We tenders, homemakers, need to take breaks. We need vacations. We need a change of scenery so we can remember why we do what we do. So we can see our hearths again even if we live in very modern times without actual hearths.

This doesn’t have to be major or even super expensive. It doesn’t mean abandoning our work or our families. Sometimes it is as simple as leaving the house for a bit.

When we owned our boutiques, we were always closed on Sunday. God commanded and we all needed the break. Oddly, not only did the people, but our boutique did too. (Yes, I know all of you with very little imagination, bless you, are giving me that mocking smile.) I can’t put it into words, but the location needed a day of quiet as well.

Our homes are no different. Think about the unceasing activity within our homes that the building itself shelters and the ground supports. Getting a break is helpful for everyone and everything. God built seasons into our lives. Trees go dormant, many shed their leaves, animals hibernate, the sun goes to bed, and light changes in the fall compared to the summer. We all need a break. When we were young and stupid, between the time of owning our boutiques and my health issues, we didn’t take a day off. We would just work until we collapsed.

After my health issue bloomed into actual issues, we started incorporating a routine with more dedicated downtime and stopping points and days off. Price goes out of his way to keep me from having to cook and clean on our day off. He tries to free me from my work as much as he can in the evenings, on Sunday, on vacation, and our days off. He sets stopping and starting points. Not as a dictator, but as a leader in our home having experienced the detriment of just working until you almost die.

We take away-vacations. Stay-cations aren’t that great because we both work from home. All we do is spend the whole time trying not to look at the work piling up. We’re big believers in getting away, even if ‘away’ is to a beach house where we're still in charge of all our food, laundry, and cleaning. The away, the change of scenery and routine help.

When I get away, I come back ready to re-tackle the work with a renewed love, and a bit of objectivity. I’ve given myself space to see my work, not just do my work. I come back home ready to love with cheering strength. We all need this at some point and before we reach burnout.

Now, let’s talk about reality. Not everyone is middle-class American, or suburban. Many of you are young, working to make ends meet, and have small children. Getting away isn’t an option and thinking about it fills you with discontent. What do you do?

1) Attitude: Don’t have an all-or-nothing attitude. You may not be able to afford a beach house, cruise, or even a road trip, but you could talk to your husband about taking a walk regularly or going for coffee alone once or twice a month. Again, don’t wait for a breakdown, get ahead of the game.

My mom was a big believer in two things:

●       Go play outside: You aren’t allowed in except to use the bathroom or if someone is excessively bleeding.

●       Sustained Silent Reading: Everyone has a book and a space. No talking for an hour. Go read.

This is probably the only reason all five of us reached adulthood.

Plan breaks. Everyone needs a break. If you aren’t a routine person who has structured plans, then know and listen to yourself. Notice when you’re reaching a breaking point and make sure you tell your husband so he can help you go for a walk alone, or he can go take the kids for a walk so you can read or watch an episode of a show or take a nap or do something artistic.

2) Change: Can’t get away? Declare a Family Veg-Out Day. Make a Sandwich Week. Declare a No Go Zone in your life and home. We weren’t allowed in my parents’ bedroom unless we were being disciplined or it was an emergency and even then we had to knock. This taught us respect and independence as well as providing Mom with a sanctuary away from five kids. If Mom was in her room, we had to wait.

Declare No Go Weeks. Create a day, or as needed, a week where you stay home. No commitments outside of church. Or, for you extroverts, actually plan a week of fun and do all the non-scheduled things: pools, water parks, amusement parks, historical sites, and museums. Declare a week of Exploration and get out of the house for several days.

The point is when our routines and chores and responsibilities start to chafe, change something for a limited time to refresh yourself when vacations aren’t an option, or even if they are. Don’t push until that one week or two of vacation, or else you won’t have the ability to enjoy your vacation.

3) Trade: We all have lots of different skills and are at different stages of life. It’s good to trade. Trade breaks. Offer to watch a friend’s kids for an afternoon in exchange for her doing the same for you next week.

Don’t be discontent, be creative.

Don’t be envious, be proactive.

Find someone you can trade with. The hardest hindrances to this are little-little kids, large families, or if you aren’t disciplining your kids and no one wants to be around them.

Don’t just trade kids, trade work. Sometimes you just need some laughing and talking while you build a new garden or deep clean parts of your home. This is also a break. This is why women quilted, canned, and baked together. The together, older kids watching younger kids, was a break from the normal work. Trade kids, trade work, and help each other avoid burnout.

Our hearths will be better tended if we take a break now and then before burnout. Look back at the Know Yourself Article. Do we know what burnout looks like for ourselves?

Let’s discuss this with our husbands, seeking his wisdom and encouragement. Let’s talk with older ladies. Loving our homes in an imperfect world can be utterly exhausting because things always need doing and are always breaking. God rested. Christ rested. Since we aren’t divine and are only little creatures, we need to take breaks. Let’s be wise and proactive about not driving ourselves and our homes and our families to the breaking point.

Rest is good for our souls, even yours.