Book Review: Glory in the Ordinary
I’ve now read this book twice. Once to get a big picture overview, and the second time to dig down deep into it.
First, there was much that I agreed with and much that I found helpful and encouraging. Some of the accusations hurled at conservative Christians for idolizing homemaking served as a good check to make sure I wasn’t doing that, even though I think she would think I land soundly in that group. I agree with her wholeheartedly that our identity is in Christ.
I appreciated what she pointed out about the Prov. 31 woman being a wise woman, not a saint. I didn’t appreciate her constant whining about the Prov. 31 woman having servants. It seemed silly. Yes, the woman had servants, but we have cars, grocery stores, microwaves, dishwashers, Roombas, washing machines, dryers. We have so many ‘servants’ we look back at times without them as simpler. So that irked me. It came across as a convenient way not to have to deal with the Prov. 31 woman’s purposed, wise, diligent management of her home.
Her first four chapters cover is homemaking important and why. She says all work is important so homemaking is important, it’s important even if we’re not paid, the chores are important because work is important, and it’s all important because the people in our homes are important because they’re created in the image of God. So far so good. Chapters 5, 6, 7 deal with common pitfalls: not getting help to manage your home, being lonely, not resting, idolatry, being lazy, dealing with feelings of guilt. Things got a little more hit and miss through here, but overall, I agreed with much that she said. Her last chapter was on the big picture value of the work. Not only did this chapter feel the least well-rounded, but some deeper doctrinal issues came to light.
Second, the target market for this book is a woman fresh from her career who has decided to stay home with her children and is now floundering about. It is important to recognize this because for older, longer-serving homemakers some of the things in the book will come across as shallow answers to big questions. She is a very young woman and mom writing to younger women and younger moms. If you have conscientiously been diligently homemaking and childrearing for many years, if you’re all in on those two things, this book isn’t meant for you. It is meant for someone just starting out wondering if she made the right choice to come home. That doesn’t mean don’t read the book, but if you’re looking for some deeper encouragement to go at the work, this book probably won’t provide it.
Third, she does correctly identify the struggles a new mom and homemaker faces, and many of us long-running homemakers, outlining the issues with the feminist movement, the mommy wars, wanting to significantly impact the world, and hunting for something amazing and glamorous. But, she also seems to think that we can solve much of this by going back to a better time when things were better, more agricultural. It subtle but seems to be there.
Forth, I loved how she pointed out again and again that no matter what job you worked outside the home it had mundane, boring, and annoying aspects, so stop acting like it was just oh so amazing.
Fifth, I love how she correctly identifies the intangible benefits of homemaking and encourages women to seek out how they can use homemaking to serve others. She gives good practical examples.
Some issues:
• She comes at this from a postmillinalist, semi-reformed, we’re redeeming our culture perspective, so she roots our encouragement to keep working in the home in the idea that this is how we change the world. Our job isn’t to change the world. We’re not working to save this world. We’re working to faithfully serve our churches and our husbands because that is what Christ has called us to do in this world while we sojourn.
• She consistently mixes homemaking and childrearing to the point of mass confusion, in my opinion. I think some issues would become much clearer and easier to deal with if we would understand that those are two different jobs. Yes, there is much overlap, but when you raise children, your goal is to work yourself out of a job. Your homemaking will be your job all your married life. There were points when she was complaining about one thing or another (yes, there is a subtle sense of complaining throughout the book) that I wondered if she wasn’t dealing more with a discipline issue, both of herself and her children, than anything else.
• There is a subtle but strong sense of gender equality in the home. I say subtle because I didn’t note it the first time through, and then I picked it up based on one quote in one of the later chapters. She never once addresses the issue of the husband’s authority and the wife’s submission. In fact, in her good attempt to encourage women that the home is to be productive not just consuming, and that the whole family should take place in this production, she levels the playing field between genders. I don’t know enough about her to know if this is on purpose or just an accident, but by the time you finish the book, you have a sense that the home has no leader, we all just do the work equally. She talks about not having a boss, and while I yes, understand that we don’t have a boss constantly looking over our shoulders, we do have a boss in our husbands. They are setting the tone and direction for the home. We’re the homemaker to their homebuilder. So, it was a very subtle thing in the book, but it did put me on high alert.
• Unlike many homemaking books, she did hold a high view of the church. I appreciated that, but she could be easily misunderstood to be teaching that the church and our church membership is about community and not the means of grace, not about the preaching. She wasn’t clear and specific about the fact that the community found in the church is an outflow of the means of grace, not the goal of the church.
• She avoided using the term homemaking with a passion. It got annoying after a while. I think this is partly because she confuses homemaking and childrearing, and I think it was to make a point. My husband liked the term at-home work. I don’t. I think it tells me where I’m working, not what I’m doing. I’m making a home, I don’t just work here.
• Because this is a young woman talking to other young women, I was highly tempted to become a crotchety old lady. One must laugh at one's self, right? Most of this came from the fact that there were points where I wanted to cup her face and remind her that this is a phase and to be patient. Your babies will not always be babies strewing messes about. I want to tell her not to just have the view that the work is good because work is good. It’s important to understand why your specific work is good, regardless if it is the work of a doctor, janitor, nanny, or homemaker. I wanted to tell her that complaining is wrong and she needs to learn to be thankful for the laundry and speak of it with thankfulness.
In the end, did I enjoy this book? Yes. It was a good challenge to read and helped me further refine my thoughts on homemaking. Would I recommend this book? That’s a harder question to answer. I would be comfortable with a woman with wisdom and experience reading it, but it’s not written for a woman with wisdom and experience. So, I guess the answer is no. This book is written for a young mother coming home and I would be concerned that a young mother reading this book might find it temporarily helpful but in the deeper, harder parts of life unhelpful and subtly destructive. I’m concerned both in where she roots the encouragement, the subtle gender equality wafting through the book, and the confusion between homemaking and child rearing. I’m very torn on this, because I can see some helps to a new homemaker/childrearer, but I can also see several pitfalls. If I did recommend it, it would be with a fair amount of caveats. Just take this book with a big grain of salt. Better yet, go find a solid older woman who has already raised her children and who is a good manager of her home and pick her brain, regularly.
