Atmosphere

When I wrote the article on stagnation, I became aware of a deeper level of homemaking. So far, I’ve largely explored:

●       Theology: Biblical commands and liberty

●       Practical: Boots-on-the-ground reality

●       Attitude: Working on ourselves and finding inspiration

I want to look deeper, to peer under leaves and petals, to lift up the skirts of the earth and see where the roots go, to glide through the undercurrents of the vast ocean of homemaking. I want to think about the more mystical or spiritual aspects of home and how they interact to create an atmosphere. Atmosphere - an intangible yet important element of the home to cultivate. Your home has an atmosphere. It just does. With or without you noticing, all homes have a feel, a spirit, a soul. What I want to do is tease instinct into intention.

When we make the intangible tangible, we can check it. We can see things we’re missing. We can grow, tend, feed, and prune. Instinct is a good gift, but it is also unreliable, open to error, and might cause laziness. Instinct is always better when it is honed through experience and factual data.

The atmosphere of any home is going to be as varied as the women who tend it. It will be as different as me and you. The question I want to explore is are there any boundaries or cornerstones that should be a hallmark of home regardless of our individual temperaments?

●       Warmth

●       Clean and Orderly

●       Beauty

Just on a first blush, these three things come to mind.

These are open to interpretation. Don’t see these as a straightjacket. I love calm, neutral colors and don’t like a ton of loud colors and patterns, BUT! I adore homes that do love colors and patterns. I love homes with clashing hues of mustard, turquoise, and burgundy even if I don’t use them myself. The point is to create an atmosphere.

Let’s explore:

Warmth: I think one of the primary goals of homemaking is creating a cozy, warm, sheltering, nourishing environment for souls. Our homes shouldn’t be frantic, harsh, blaring, cold carports or lean-tos. They will have different energy levels, generally based on your energy level as a wife and the number of souls sheltering within your walls. I have low energy and only me and Price. The liveliness of my home is subdued. Liz has lots of energy and 4 girls. The wonderfully and beautifully high level of liveliness in her home is astounding. Cozy, warm, sheltering, nourishing isn’t a call to suck the life out of your home and live in a stupor like everyone is half chloroformed. Each home will have its energy level. Warmth is very individual, but we need to strive for it.

Warmth, for me, is textures: leather, fur, soft, smooth, chunky, embroidered, contrasting. It’s candles. Fire creates warmth both by keeping a house actually warm and by visual flickering flames. It’s plants. Plants inside and out. And books. I love books on shelves, in piles, on the table, on the chairs. I have books everywhere. Warmth is also setting aside my time and responsibilities to talk with my husband. It’s watching and practicing self-control over my fears so that I’m not sharp, mocking, belittling, or nagging. I put to death—yes, it’s hand-to-hand combat in my heart and mind—any temptation to disparage him, feel put upon by him, assume a lack of appreciation, disrespect him, and strive to forgive him without making everything a fight.

I want to welcome him home. I want him to be happy here, to feel loved, seen, and heard. I want to help him.

This is hard. So hard. He’s a sinner…shocking, I know. He’s a loud, obnoxious male. He’s always in my space. It’s easy to be a contentious wife because there is so much I could critique. It’s easy to make home a place no one wants to be. I’m appalled at my tone and what comes out of my mouth. I’m horrified at my attitude. Why am I so ugly towards him, even in my heart???

Warmth is expressed in many many ways, but as tenders, we need to think about warmth in our home. The first place we start, I think, is how we treat our husbands and our children if the Lord has so blessed us. Warmth starts with us and moves out into our particular, God-given gifts and delights. Coffee, tea, wine, soup, bread, smells, textures, colors, patterns, minimalists and maximalists, on and on, are only the expression, the trappings, of warm hearts. It starts with loving our husbands and children in our hearts which goes right back to Titus 2: older women teach the younger women to love their husbands and children. That’s how we create a warm atmosphere regardless of our settings.

Clean and Orderly: I think the atmosphere of the home is highly impacted by the level of cleanliness and order. A dirty, disorganized place isn’t comfortable or restful for anyone. Living in squalor doesn’t grow or shelter souls. Cleanliness and order are good for the mind and body. It’s the first line of defense for physical health and mental health.

Uniquely, homes are messy by nature. They’re where we cook, shower, use the bathroom, tend the sick and dying, and they have doors where we track in the dirt and detritus of the outside. Homes are full of dust and hair, even if you have no children or pets. If you have kids and pets, it’s even messier. On a certain level, home is always a mess because people live here. Books, toys, dust bunnies, fingerprints, water bottles, food, dirt, crumbs, and more swirl about in a busy, living home. And that’s a good thing! It’s very good. Have you ever walked into a “clean” house and feared to even enter because it was immaculate? That’s one side. Have you ever been somewhere so filthy you didn’t want to eat anything there and you considered burning your clothes when you got home? Neither extreme creates a warm atmosphere in our homes. Austere cleanliness is cold, harsh, and tyrannical. Filth is dangerous, depressing, and tyrannical.

Clean and orderly is finding the proper balance for your home and the phase you’re in. I had an ugly old carpet for about the first 8 years we owned our home. No matter what I did, how much I cleaned, that old carpet just felt gross. I did the best I could and sought contentment until we could get rid of it. Cleanliness is doing the best you can and being content with the place and phase you’re in. This is not an excuse for laziness, but as a source of calm to work out from.

Cleanliness and order must be taught and instilled in your children. Start young! Own the cleanliness and orderliness of your home! Don’t make it a burden. You’re managing a home, not a museum.

Beauty: It’s tempting for some of us to think only about something's functionality and not to consider its beauty as well. Growing up pretty poor, I struggled often with quantity over quality and function over beauty as a young homemaker. My husband has always been the opposite. Better quality is better than a lot of stuff. Beauty is just as important as function.

This can be harder to manage when budgets are tight, but whenever and wherever you can, make sure what you buy isn’t only functional but also beautiful. This drastically affects the atmosphere of your home and the growth and development of the souls residing there. Beauty raises us out of the dirt, the vulgar. Beauty is ennobling. It crowns the ordinary. It communicates that life is worth living and that the most simple and earthly tasks are worthy of honor.

Every human being is an artist, is artistic. Not everyone is Michelangelo or Tolkien, but we all delight in sub-creation. Knitting, baking, quilting, fashion, crafts, painting, gardening, decorating, designing, storytelling, playdough, and fingerpaints. Not all art is high and holy. Some of it is earthy and temporary. That doesn’t negate its value or its delight.

The atmosphere of our homes is greatly affected by our choices of beauty.

Again, this is subjective. My sense of beauty: bringing nature in with neutral colors, glass, fur, and feathers. This may not be your sense of beauty. Some of us may love smooth industrial lines while others love antiques. God made us and has nurtured personal, individual preferences in us all. What a blessing! Embrace those preferences. Delight in them. Grow them. Cultivate a heart of worshipful awe and thanksgiving.

Don’t forsake the gift of beauty and think it’s unimportant. Our embracing and use of beauty impacts our homes. If everything is merely about how practical, useful, or utilitarian it is, then our homes will be cold and uncomfortable. They will ring hollow and empty to everyone. Strive for beauty—whether in metal and marble or fur and leaf—and your home will have an atmosphere of warmth, joy, and welcome.

This isn’t an aspect of homemaking we get to skip. Many of us women are practical beings. We have to be. Give me a good tool and get out of my way. This is a strength, but we must not allow it to so dominate us as to erase all beauty from our hearts and homes. Seek beauty alongside practicality and the atmosphere of your home will set itself.

These are my first thoughts on the atmosphere of the home. I find myself fleeing back to the gospel as I realize how easy it would be to destroy my home. I’m a sinner, ugly and broken, and I am finite. I must have grace, gospel, and love first before I can pour love into my home and while I pour love into my home.

Prayer is needed along with humility and thankfulness.

I still want to explore the tangible sides or intentional sides of Atmosphere without just making a list of what I like. I’m going to keep thinking about it. But, I’m pretty solid on warmth, clean and orderly, and beauty. These 3 are a good place to start on intentionally creating and maintaining the atmosphere of your home.