Finishing the Job

Please tell me I’m not the only person who finds themselves moving on to the next thing before they finish the job at hand. No? Just me?

The other day, I was freezing some fresh bone broth. I finished vacuum sealing it and putting it in the freezer, started the second round of broth, and went to do my meal planning. As I left the kitchen, I realized my Sharpie, vacuum sealer, scissors, and plastic bags were still out on the counter. For only a moment, I thought, “I’ll clean that up later. I don’t have time right now.” Really? I don’t have less than a minute to finish the job I started?

I thought about that article about talking to ourselves, and in my firmest inner-mother voice, ordered myself to finish the job I started.

As homemakers, we often spend our whole day moving from one thing to another. Put on a load of wash, wash the dishes, plan dinner, clean something, swap the wash, get something out of the oven, fold the laundry, make a phone call, and on and on and on. All this while tending to the constant care of our beloved people, big and small. When life is a circling, not multi-tasking, but a constant dance, around and around and back and through, it is easy to get lost in the waltz and forget to see a job to completion (or as close as our work comes to being complete). Yet we’re all familiar with the chaos added to life when we fail to finish our tasks, put away our clothes, toys, hobbies, and books. We all know the frustration of things left out, especially if more than one person is leaving things around; the “Thank you past-me for leaving this mess for present-me to deal with” feeling. Stuff gets out of hand quickly and easily.

For example, I use Tuesday to reset my home after spending the majority of the Lord’s Day at church and most of Monday resting. That reset would often take me all morning or more because I allowed Monday to get so out of hand. I did nothing. Tuesday was becoming quite the stressful affair. My home was uncomfortable and a burden to tidy up. Something had to be done. Little by little, I’ve added just a few chores to Monday. Just a few. I need Monday to still be a day to recuperate, but when I do a little, Tuesday isn’t a total disaster.

And that’s the point: Little by Little. I have to pay attention to my laziness when it comes to finishing a task. From there, I’m building new habits, one tiny step at a time. I’m not trying to overhaul my life or beating myself up. I’m simply noticing, “Okay, I’m doing that again. Take a breath, I’ve got time to finish. Don’t sabotage your future self.” Little by little, ladies, that is how homemaking is done.

It’s crazy to me how often noticing is the first step. Not fixing but noticing. “You’re doing it again!” It’s like when we notice we’re not a good listener or that we’re an interrupter. If we start by simply taking note of it, we will be able to assess if this is an issue. Once we notice, we can SLOWLY start to fix.

We fix by talking correctly to ourselves. We fix by slowing down and not letting ourselves believe our internal anxiety that is screaming we just don’t have time to finish.

Are there times we can’t finish? Obviously. When we’re in the middle of a project, chore, or task that is a bit more massive like decluttering, painting, room swapping, or even doing laundry or cooking a big meal we may find we can’t finish cleanly. Sometimes big tasks have to be broken down because we work in our homes, not in a vacuum. In these situations, a plan needs to be made to corral the chaos and keep it from spreading. We also need to make sure we’re not becoming so focused on finishing that we fail to rest. It does us and our people no good if we are dehydrated, hangry, and exhausted. If you are prone to forgetting the clock and being hyper-focused on a task or project, find ways to help yourself, like breaking a project into smaller goals and setting alarms. Another reason we might not finish is those days we have pushed harder than we should. We might walk away from something like a dirty kitchen. We make the conscious choice to save that chore for the morning. I think conscious is the important part here. We decide on purpose not to finish that job because we know we’re already exhausted. Tomorrow will be worse for the exhaustion than it will be for the dishes. Homemaking is often exactly this kind of wise decision-making.

I keep laughing at myself because I struggle with finishing a task all the time! This morning, I got my coffee grinder out, ground some beans, and put the grinder on the counter. Not back. Not away. On the counter. Really, Abby, come on. One must laugh at oneself. But it is worth the work of training myself to notice the half-finished jobs. Now that I’ve started, order is infusing my home, and calm is spreading.

Not finishing creates clutter which spreads chaos which destroys calm.

As always, we HearthKeepers, are the front line of this work in our homes. It starts in our hearts and minds, moves into action, and spreads beautifully throughout the home. We can’t control chaos for the sake of our people, providing them safety, if we aren’t staying at the task of controlling the chaos.

Side Note: It must be said yet again that this is a lifelong work. You can’t go into your home like a tyrant and demand no one touch anything. You are a woman, not a dictator. Start with yourself, start small, go little by little. Life will be messy. Kids are little bundles of unbelievable chaos. You will have to bend with that. Sickness brings chaos. Pets. Life changes. Job changes. And us. Some of us will excel at this, some of us won’t. Some of us will be doing a great job at it, but it won’t look like it to someone else. Keep your eyes on your home and your people. Little by little. The goal is a home of Cheering Strength, not strangling each other or our people.

 I’m over here, reminding myself that it is worth the work, day in and day out, to stem the tide of chaos...starting with my own. It is worth it because it is what makes my particular home happy and calm. A happy homemaker is a happy husband and a happy family.