Practical Thoughts For a Young Homemaker: Time
(I recently talked about realigning my focus on this blog. One of the areas that I think I went a little off the reservation was in the Letters to a New Matron series. I’ve had a request to keep that series available, so I will, but I want to do another small series of practical advice for the new homemaker, be she Christian or Pagan or anything else. I’m going to move the other one over to my personal page here.)
Dear New Matron,
You are just starting on your homemaking journey. Maybe you just got married or you just moved out on your own, and you’re asking yourself, “Now what?”
Time, my darling girl, time.
First off, use your time wisely. If you are in the position of having a home to tend, but no outside-the-home job or kids just yet, you need to see this as a wonderful blessing that needs to be wisely used because it won’t last long. This isn’t a time to be lazy or self-indulged, but a time to really engage in the work of homemaking, your home specifically. It is time to engage in learning the how of the work, the why, and the benefits. It’s time to build a solid foundation so that when those kids come, hopefully soon, you’re as ready as you can be to welcome them. It is also the time to start learning your people, starting with your new husband, and moving out into your new family and friends. Remember, sear it into your brain, that all we do, we do for our people! This is the time to learn to customize your homemaking for your family.
If you support yourself and you just got your own place, you will still want to engage in learning the craft of homemaking. You may not have the dedicated time the woman who is a full-time homemaker has, but you can still learn how to tend your home so that you are tending people. The world of the domestic arts just opened up to you. Engage in it! Just engage in it with an eye to serving those around you.
Both the full-time and part-time homemakers need to diligently engage in this work: Tend People. Both. We’re tending, but not in a vacuum, not alone, not just me and my cats, or me and this building. New matrons have to train. The first thing we train for is to see the benefits of staying on top of our tasks, to-do lists, and chores as benefits to our people. This takes time.
Second, take your time. All women, the maid, matron, and crone, need to get a tight grip on time. We don’t need to try to be and know all there is about homemaking today. Give yourself room to make mistakes. You may even have to ask your people for the room to make mistakes. Do it because you will make mistakes. There is a whole vast world of cooking, cleaning, laundry, repairs, maintenance, finances, fabrics, plants, pets, decor, furniture, tools, fixtures, and more. There is a whole realm of attitudes, heart postures, home aromas, health care, affection, routines, habits, psychology, biology, and science waiting to be mastered. There are virtues to be applied, skills to learn, books to read, and a variety of themes and goals to embrace.
This will take time.
Don’t think that because you can do the basics of cooking, cleaning, and laundry—which all humans need to do to subsist in life—that you’re doing homemaking or have mastered homemaking. Maintain a humble and teachable attitude. You will be a much better homemaker going forward if you never assume you’ve got this down. Life changes quickly. We change. Our people change. Thus, homemaking changes. You want to be confident that you can handle things, but you don’t want to be proud and thus lazy. Confidently continue your education.
Take the time and give yourself the time to understand and train yourself in the blending of art and science that is homemaking, the heart and mind, and the practical and metaphysical aspects of homemaking. Consider yourself an apprentice. You aren’t a master. It takes time and training to be a master of your field just like any other work. So take the time and give yourself the time to learn.
As I always say, this is the work of a lifetime, not a weekend getaway. That should be an encouragement to keep learning and not to be hard on ourselves when we fail or make mistakes. It should encourage us to know that our work isn’t mindless but full of learning and growing.
So, new matron, the first thing you want to lay down as a foundation in your home, is time. Use it with wisdom and diligence. Take the time to learn your home. Most of all, and this will be regularly repeated, never engage in this work of HearthKeeping as a stand-alone goal. The goal is to tend our people. HearthKeeping is our tool chest to accomplish that work.
Love,
A Matron who is quickly becoming a Crone
P.S. The three practical articles I wrote before are still available. Here is the first one. Excuse the slightly disjointedness of them and the slips into theology.
-The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessinger
-Nourishing Traditions and Nourishing Fats by Sally Fallon Morell
-Home Comforts by Cheryl Mendelson (Reference book to have on hand)
-Home Management: Plain and Simple by Kim Brenneman
-The Summa Domestica by Leila Lawler
-The Little Book of Hygge by Meik Wiking
