Procrastination
What was that sound? Was that the sound of many of you sighing? Or maybe like me, you see the word procrastination and you chuckle with a bit of reluctant shame.
If we look at the dictionary definition of procrastination, we get this: “The act of postponing, delaying, or putting off, especially habitually or intentionally.” Some other words similar to procrastination are laziness, unproductivity, distractedness, and to be shillyshally. Well, this doesn’t look good. I don’t think any of us want to be known as women who are habitually unproductive, lazy, or distracted. Yet, many of us struggle with procrastination. When I was in college and had a major test to study for, I suddenly had a great interest in cleaning my car, my room, anything to avoid studying. Mom said she could always tell when I was supposed to be studying for a test. I have always struggled with procrastination when I’m faced with a duty I don’t enjoy or that I’m nervous about.
First, let’s talk about what procrastination isn’t.
1) Prioritization isn’t procrastination. We all have things to get done today. Just because the priority is also the thing you want to do doesn’t mean you’re procrastinating. Say you need to mend your husband’s shirt and get the budget updated. If your husband needs the shirt first thing tomorrow morning and the budget just needs to be done routinely, prioritizing the mending over the budget isn’t procrastination. If you promised to bring cookies to the Ladies’ Tea and to weed the flowerbed, you have to decide which must be done first according to time, energy, and deadline. Prioritizing isn’t procrastination.
2) Delight isn’t procrastination. I can’t speak for other denominations, but Reformed Baptists and Roman Catholics seem to have this weird hang-up about being happy. I call it the BBC Reaction. (Any time a character in a BBC show has a split second of happiness, something bad is about to happen. Looking at you Poldark and Downton Abbey.) We have this fear that if we’re happy, content, calm, and delighted in our work, something bad is going to happen, or that we’re automatically committing idolatry or some other sin. We’ve mixed up soberness with dourness.
If you have prioritized your list and found that the first things that need doing are the things you love best about homemaking be thankful! You’re not procrastinating simply because the mending and baking give you more delight than the budgets and weeding.
Procrastination is when we put off good but hard or annoying or anxiety-laced things for easier things, often bringing harm to us and our homes. It is a lack of self-control, diligence, and courage. The sense of something being difficult, frustrating, or stressful isn’t wrong. But when we use it as an excuse to not do the work and harm our homes, it becomes a problem.
I struggle with this with car maintenance. I loathe all things car-oriented and, to my great shame, I act cowardly towards car care. I ignore things like tire pressure, oil changes, and more because I don’t want to deal with them. Unfortunately, my laziness and cowardice towards car issues compound into big problems if I don’t face them. And it’s not a lack of funds, friends to help, or available mechanics. It is entirely due to procrastination. I’m being timid when it comes to car care. I’m also being unjust, imprudent, and intemperate.
Procrastination isn’t a virtue. It is a vice. It is something we need to seek grace from God in and give no grace to ourselves. We all kind of like to joke about it, but when we see it for what it is, it’s ugly and dangerous for our families.
I can be very productive in a thousand different ways when I’m procrastinating. Remember, I was the one cleaning everything when it was time to take a test. Is it good to cook and clean and do the laundry? Yes. Is it necessary? Yes. But if we’re using it as an excuse not to take care of the cars, or the appliances, or the taxes, or whatever it is that we’re avoiding, we’re abandoning our homes and our families. So much of the time we have to guard our homes against ourselves.
Now that we’ve seen how dreadful procrastination is how can we go to war against it?
1) Repent and face it. Do the difficult job of facing yourself and seeing your nastiness. Confess your sin to God, seek His forgiveness, and repent, which means go at the work of retraining yourself. You can’t fight procrastination if you refuse to look it in the eye and name it for what it is. Put a label on it so you can guard yourself against it. Don’t shrug this off. It can be subtle and small. It may be only a tiny weed in the back corner of your garden, but it will spread quickly. Pull it up!
2) See the harm you’re bringing to yourself and your home. You will be far more motivated to stay in the fight against procrastination if you can open your eyes to how it is hurting your family. Not dealing with maintenance issues creates more maintenance issues. Not keeping up with the budget brings financial ruin. Avoiding folding the laundry tells your family they’re not important. Face your laziness and cowardice.
3) See the anxiety it brings. Procrastination is a lot like complaining. We don’t notice the effect it’s having on us until we finally do the chore we’re avoiding. It’s like the sun coming out after a rainy day. Procrastination is a choice to live with mounting anxiety every day instead of doing a task that we don’t want to do, which will usually not be as bad as we think it will be. Look at how foolish we are, ladies. We’ll let that anxiety live in our hearts, rampage in our homes, instead of taking care of our responsibilities. Let’s strive to not live this way.
4) Every day do the thing you are most dreading first, or as close to first as you can. If you don’t want to go get the oil changed, or make that phone call, or update that budget, or clean that bathroom, do it first. Look at what you’re procrastinating about and make yourself do that thing before all the other things. See it as your training. You had to learn how to drive by practicing. Learn to stop procrastinating by practicing as well.
5) Baby step yourself. The thing about deep-seated procrastination is that it will take time to weed. Baby steps, ladies. We’re not tolerating sin, but we are imitating Christ by being merciful to ourselves. Habits take time to change and so do attitudes. Break down the things you don’t want to do into manageable steps. See it as one thing at a time, not the whole. Layer in something you do like. If you have to go deal with the car, then maybe you have to go get a coffee too. If you have to clean the bathroom, maybe you have to put on some loud music too, or a good audiobook, or a podcast. If you have to work on the budget, maybe you have to also enjoy a cup of tea. Don’t make yourself extra miserable just because. Give yourself a pep talk, and plan something fun for after the non-fun is done.
Much like the article on complaining, I wanted to be a bit tough on us because I know how much I struggle with procrastination. I’m writing to myself far more than I’m writing to any of you. HearthKeeping is so much more than just housekeeping, ladies. It’s the constant work of overcoming our sinful habits, thought patterns, and attitudes. Let’s work together to help each other stay in the fight, so that we aren’t ruining our homes and families and churches. Only a foolish woman pretends she doesn’t have anything to work on. Only a proud woman believes she’s not procrastinating.
A slack hand causes poverty, but the hand of the diligent makes rich. – Proverbs 10:4
