The Homemaker at Play
The longer I go on through this life and the more I watch the franticness of our overcommitted world, especially women trying to do it all and have it all, the more convinced I become to slow down and say no, to not overcommit, to not try to do more and more and more and more both outside my home and inside my home. One of the things we lose as adults due to chronic franticness (overcommitting ourselves to events and work with no rest and no quiet) is play. We lose the ability to “occupy” ourselves in an “activity for amusement and recreation.” (American Heritage Dictionary) Sometimes this stems from a strong work ethic that has become a bit intemperate with no guiding boundaries. Sometimes this stems from anxiety, worries, and grief. However we got to a point in life with no play, we need to correct it.
A life without amusement and recreation is a burden to us and our people and soon leads to dullness and burnout. It is vital that we accept and believe that play is important for us—for US! ladies—and those we are tending.
If we are only facilitating play and never joining in, we don’t believe play is important. We’re not setting a good example for our children or each other, and we’re in danger of developing a martyr’s complex and growing bitterness. We might find ourselves under the horrible burden of a “well, it must be nice” attitude, which is ugly, unfair, and says more about us and the state of our hearts and minds than anything else.
Play is refreshing, clears the mind, and increases problem-solving and creativity.
HearthKeepers, we need to play!
Play as a Mindset: Around here, we emphasize Guarding and Gardening our hearts and minds. Only from this protected, thriving, blooming inner life can we tend our hearths properly. If we want to bring play back into our lives, we need to start labeling things as play. We need to start “changing the narrative” of our lives, shifting our perspective to see play. When we do this, we will find that we already have lots of play in our lives, we just don’t call it that, and when we don’t call it that, we don’t see it. Naming things is an important part of life as created creatures.
Start by examining the day. What can be turned on its head and considered amusement and recreation? Gardening, reading, loud music, taking a walk, going thrifting, tea with a friend, silly conversation, a beer/wine/whiskey tasting, spontaneous outings, library trips, taking a new way home, and so much more. Play starts by not labeling or viewing everything in life as a burden or chore. Even if we must do some prep work as homemakers, that doesn’t mean we’re not playing. Every boy must arm himself before the Nerf gun fight and every girl must collect her pots and pans before making leaf soup and mud pancakes. Preparation only destroys play if we allow it to.
Without play in our inner narratives, life is only chores. How can anyone endure such a burden? How can we delight in work that is not interwoven with play?
Play as Grown-Ups: It’s easy to see that play changes as we grow up. That is a good thing, but it may be why we mistakenly view our lives as devoid of play—we fail to see our play has matured. Not many of us of our own free will go sit in the mud to make cakes decorated with leaves and dandelions, but we will gather our ingredients and bake cakes. Can we not see that as a moment of amusement?
I think reading is often play. We need to read to learn, yes, but do you ever read for fun? Do you ever grab a weekend read, junk read, guilty-pleasure read and just soak in it? Yes, it is ice cream. You can’t be intemperate with it, but it can be just as intemperate to never read books purely for fun as it can be to only read books like that. (My favorite junk read is Larry Correia’s Grimnoir Chronicles.)
Puzzles, sudoku, crosswords, board games, and Dungeons and Dragons are all wonderful ways to engage in fun. Crafts like knitting, crocheting, cross-stitch, embroidery, lace making, and more can all be forms of play. They’re a great way to take a break and amuse ourselves, which clears our minds and emotions so we can better tackle life.
As grown-ups, we can also layer play over our chores to make them more fun. Think loud music on cleaning day, the romance found in life, herbs, gardens, grass, audiobooks while doing dishes, read-aloud times with our children, and handcrafts during conversations. All these and more keep smiles on our faces and joy in our hearts so we can be merry and durable. Ladies, it helps no one if we are only durable. Most of us don’t want simply durable friends. We must have the merry part as well and merriness grows with play.
Play as a Child: If at all possible, play with your children. Again, temperance must be employed. Chores must be done, and children need to learn to do them, but play with them too. Get out in the mud and in the middle of that Nerf gun fight. Play with Legos and join the video game. Set up a regular game night and encourage an increase in volume. Help build those forts and sit in them. Make up wild stories and run through the sprinkler. Here’s the deal, kids are doing these things for the first time. The first time. There is this delight that we lose after we’ve started feeling the boredom of baking cookies for the thousandth time. Train yourself to consider the real magic of mixing flour, sugar, and spices and getting cookies! Be agog!
Playing with kids is a return to the dawn of awe when the first dew was diamonds and the first dandelions were the richest of blooms.
If you don’t have children, plug into your community and start cultivating friendships with moms so you can add some children to your life!
Play is vital to our hearts and minds and thus to our homemaking. Play is vital to the mental health of humans, so that makes it our responsibility. We must nurture and nourish an environment of play in our hearts and hearths. We must stop viewing everything as burdens, chores, and dull responsibilities. We are the HearthKeepers! Laugh, dance, sing, and play for the mutual well-being of your home, hearth, self, and people. Learn, dear ladies, to have fun! This will light the way back home for our husbands each day, our children as they mature, and all the young ladies being told this work is only dull drudgery. Let’s break free of that label and show our families, communities, and the disbelieving world that being a homemaker is the best job a woman can do.
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