The Active Life
“God doth not need either man’s work or his own gifts: who best bear his mild yoke, they serve him best.
His state is kingly; thousands at his bidding speed and post o’er land and ocean without rest: they also serve who only stand and wait.”
-Milton-
Cicadas proclaim the summer songs of the south with an unashamed cry while they leave behind their old skins on leaves, chairs, walls, and fences. Nothing says summer like their loud whine. Have you taken the time to notice?
I’m trying to find a line, a this-is-different-but-not-wrong line. My heart craves a simple, quiet life. I don’t long for a fast, exciting life in the city, nor to be on the go all the time. I long to be able to move from one task to the next without being frantic.
What I’m beginning to see is that while I may personally, and due to health issues, choose a simple life, there isn’t anything wrong or sinful with an active life.
Side Note: It is always our temptation to label anything different than us as sinful or wrong. Sometimes that’s because we’ve put sincere thought into something and come to reasonable solutions. We must always remember that the right and reasonable choices we’ve made personally and for our homes aren’t the only possible right and reasonable choices one could make.
There are these wonderful people in this world blessed with energy and drive in equal measure. They can go and go and go and love going and going and going. They love to do all the things and be involved with all the people. They’re the ones who say yes, yes, yes.
They’re often the backbones of our communities and churches. These are the women who head up caretaking and hospitality in the church, who manage homes, kids, and possibly even part-time jobs without seeming to miss a beat. We all admire this woman. Her home is amazing, her kids are well behaved, and when she’s not caring for the sick of the church or preparing for some church event, she’s engaged in having people in her home or out with friends.
She never seems, from an outside observer, to break down or grow weary.
These women are amazing.
I never cease to be amazed by you active-active women because I’m the exact opposite. You seem miraculous to me and slightly insane. But I’m so thankful for you because you are the doers, the helpers, and I’ve needed you again and again in my life.
Just as there are pitfalls when you are deeper on the “simple” life spectrum, when you’re a bit more of a hobbit (Shall we break for second breakfast? Yes we shall.), like isolation and laziness, there are pitfalls for the active life that you need to guard against.
1) Frantic: When your active life, a blessing and gift, moves from active and engaged to chronic franticness, you’re not being careful to have boundaries. You do not need to say yes to everything. When you do, you often begin to overshadow others. Less active people never have a shot at serving because you always say yes first. You can become angry at your family because don’t they see how busy you are? How dare they not be aware of all the work they’ve created for you when you’re so busy?
You can forget the command to rest. Rest requires trusting the Lord with your inability to do everything and with your human needs of sleeping and eating. I’ve often observed that active people can be deriding of rest while at the same time driving themselves into a frenzy. They’ve moved from active to frantic. Even God rested and he commanded us to rest. Recreation is good for us too.
You have to guard against this. I can’t tell you when you’ve moved from active to frantic. You and your family have to sort out that line. What may look terrifyingly frantic to me may be your perfect storm.
2) Stress Addiction: It’s easy to become addicted to the rush of stress. I know. I spent 13 years of my life in a constant adrenaline-induced state of high stress while starvation dieting to keep thin. I measured my success in life by how frantic I was and used my stress level to dictate my priorities. I was a slave to franticness and stress.
When you are gifted with a desire to be active and have the energy to do so, don’t slip into a state of constantly being stressed out! If you’re like the white rabbit, always late for a very important date, consider if you are over-committed. If you are always working with a maxed-out stress level instead of calmly moving from task to task, and event to event, and service to service, consider that you might be over-extended.
Side Note: I’m not suggesting some earthly utopia where we are all in some drug-induced state of calm. I know that this life is one of trials, testing, and hardship. But, that doesn’t mean we allow ourselves to swing the other way and live high on stress and anxiety.
If you’re always frantic, if you’re addicted to stress, and don’t know how to judge your productivity outside of your stress level, it will bleed into your home creating an environment that always feels on edge. It will bleed panic into all of your relationships.
3) Introverts: Keep in mind, active homemakers, that you may have introverts in your home. Be aware of your family. Lower energy people and your introverts need to see that they’re taken into account, not driven every waking moment. Home is a shelter. If your children or husband isn’t gifted with high energy, or maybe ends up with health issues that suddenly limit them, you will have to sacrifice, maybe pull back, or be okay with them not attending everything you do. Accommodate and be aware that not everyone is gifted with your drive and energy level.
4) Pride and Laziness: Your level of drive and activity is a gift from the Lord that he doesn’t give to everyone. Some of us only get one “talent” not ten. Don’t allow this to puff you up. Active people are often on the receiving end of praise because they’re seen. They’re serving. This can quickly become a temptation to pride, a temptation to define yourself by that praise, and a temptation to belittle anyone who isn’t serving in the active, visible way you are.
Make sure you guard and garden your heart from thinking less of those “who only stand and wait.” You may not see them serving, but just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean they aren’t. Be kind, loving, unassuming of wrong, and look to your own heart, not others, trusting their sanctification to the Lord.
5) Misdirection: The last thing active and driven women must beware of is misdirecting their driven activity. It is easy to lose sight of your church (by “church“ I mean attending the preaching, praying, baptism, and Lord’s Supper, and engaging in fellowship and hospitality, not extra-curricular ministries), husband and kids, hearth and home, for the bright and shiny calling of the world. It’s easy to want to be seen and heard by more than your small community. Everyone wants that. Everyone wants to have the acclaim of men and the world. You must face this temptation with your eyes open because you can do so much. Make sure you keep your priorities in the right order even as you engage in broader communities. It’s easy to see the needs of the world only to miss the needs of your home.
You active, driven, social women have a great gift, one that many of us envy. We’d all love to manage our homes, tangibly love our husbands, homeschool our kids, manage a business, and serve our church while having a robust social life. If you have even half of that, be thankful. Use that gift as long as you are given it within the appropriate bounds of rest, recreation, thoughtful awareness of others, and appropriate priorities.
And, not to worry, next week we’ll look at the gifts and pitfalls of a quiet, simple life.
